Archives 2007

Powerhouse @ St James

2007-12-30T14:11:00.000+08:00

ystd night was crazy!
it was fun and really high.
i am gonna be addicted to it.
Gimme More!!

Powerhouse. the songs they spin are nice!

nelson. nic. aili (the rest at not in picutre)

aili. me in my new haircut

and i had a pimple. (so prominent)

the girls. my stiff expression is the result of numb toes and achy muscles

meixi. me

eunice. me on the dancefloor

shake shake shake those booties!!
-----
i experience what it is like to be in hell and heaven in a day

i took everything for granted
reverting to the old way of life is so difficult now
the past seems so far,
but its creeping back soon and i will loose everything overnight.
those fears are coming true.

this is reality,
unveiling itself right before my own eyes.

droppings

2007-12-29T01:06:00.000+08:00

soaking up in this atmosphere of joy and laughter

having the urge to spurge
but somehow i cannot make up my mind on what to buy

47hr more to go
and we usher in the new year...
its seems like ystd when we welcomed 2007 with high hopes and great expectations that it will be a great year,
and now we are going to say goodbye to it.
many things happened in 2007,
happy, sad, fear, anger and worries,
i had them all,
nonetheless it was still a great year.
its scary how fast time flies,
and i am going to be a year older.
RAH!!!

... I try to see the good in life, but good things in life are hard to find...

paid

2007-12-27T21:57:00.000+08:00

i've got my pay!
and its going to be gone before i know it...
PSP or NDSL?
Shld i buy that Sony DigiCam?
Rah... no more money.

need to see the Programme Director next year (2nd Jan)
oh gawd. it makes me nervous

mummy says i should make use of the time i have before school starts to clean up my pig sty. haha
which i agreed without any arguing
becos' its darn messy and everything i need is hidden under a pile of papers
i am so disorganise!

May darling,
we should meet and do some serious shopping!! Date me!
Jas honey,
time to meet too...
i owe them very belated birthday pressies...
and to all my other babes,
i miss ya!
its time to socialise and spend big bucks enjoying life.
muhaha

will post photos soon.
promise.

how can a broken heart survive?

counting down in process

2007-12-25T00:29:00.000+08:00

Hohoho!
Merry Xmas!
spent my night at home with my new Samsung LCD TV!
eh... not a very nice way but its not that bad either.

went for company's year end celebration at vivo earlier in the day.
had some games and luck draw.
got lucky enough to get a 20 bucks Cold Storage voucher
can do some grocceries shopping with that voucher and probably get a turkey too!
HAHA.
some luck... *roll eyes*
watched National Treasure: Books of Secret after that,
and its a really nice show.

anyway, Season Greetings to all.
Have a blessed year ahead,
and have fun.

i've been a good girl. Where are my presents?!
~~6 more days to christmas~~
12 6 more days to 2008

type-writting sucks.

2007-12-21T12:14:00.000+08:00

type-writter is the uncoolest thing ever!
and i've learn to use it today at work
it killed almost all my brain cells.
ARGHS!

MNC company,
and they still have this ugly type witter sitting at the corner of the office
WAH! Super old-school
everything is so manual and noisy,
and its very frustrating that i wanted to rip that damn the machine apart

the person who invented the type writter was a genius at his/her time
but the person who wrote microsoft office program is a saviour!
thank god that he brought the type writting era into history,
praise the lord!

let the countdown begin!

2007-12-19T13:52:00.000+08:00

when luck and coincidence are slumped together,
you are in for a big surprise.

was surfing through friendster at work just now (cos' i was bored)
and i decided to search for a guy whom i chatted to during my China trip
and Bingo!!
its on page 16 of my search and it was a random search through the page.
wahaha. hohoho.

its public holis tmr
and i've got no plans yet.
shall be resting at home i guess
and edit some photos from the trip...

6 more days to christmas
12 more days to 2008

hmm.

2007-12-18T22:59:00.000+08:00

Surprise surprise surprise
Hady became Asian Idol.

went back to work today.
as usual,
slacking all the way.
x'mas is nearing,
and 2007 is coming to an end.

things aren't rosy this year.
they better be next year

time to finish the last few episodes of Heroes.

always expect the unexpected.

i m BACK!

2007-12-17T02:51:00.000+08:00

wohoo!

the tour was ok.
food was so-so
views were scenic.
shopping wasn't great.

will update more at a later date

tired.

after a short hiatus, somehow i've got enlightened.
those long bus journey gave me time to sort things out,
and you aren't everything that i've wanted.
the pain you've brought me,
only made me stronger.

the good things you think of will never happen while the bad one always happen.

i screamed:

2007-12-08T00:05:00.000+08:00

F*** YOU!

you are an arse!

damn you!

GRR!

so sick and tired of all these guessing.
miracles don't happen,
and i need to get that into my head.
no point trying, no point fighting for it.

you will regret what you have done.

setbacks after setbacks... non stop.

climbing out from the ditch

2007-12-06T21:06:00.000+08:00

i miss him.
very badly,
very suddenly too.
went to work this morning and saw a new batch of enlistees at pasir ris interchange.
somehow, it reminds me of him still in camp.
haha.
(he finished his 24km route march... wohoo!)

got a plane to catch on sunday morning,
i've got a fren bday party
and i feel like meeting him on saturday too.
and i still have not pack my luggage!
gosh!

i don't know how to tell my mum about i screwed up results.
gosh! gosh!

i need to reflect on my life, set my priorities right.
i need to find my DDFH - discipline, determination, faith and hope.
i really need to focus but not stress myself out too much.

failures will only make me stronger and more determined.
who doesn't fail in life,
but what's important is to learn from it and not repeat them again.

yes! i getting those momentum back.
GO ALL THE WAY!
please wish me luck and give me your support!!!
JIA YOU LO!!!

but how do i tell my mum? thats the big problem.
i hate to make her disappointed.

i heard myself scream: "how could this happen to me?!"

results

2007-12-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

i screwed everything.
out of 4 paper i onli pass 2
i know its bad... very.
but i did all my best, but somehow something went very wrong.
MAB and HMT, i'll see you again.

i think i should quit school.
feel so demoralised now
it sucks to feel this way.
i am crying inside,
and everything is killing me.

when your world comes crushing down,
and no one is there to stand by you,
there is nothing but darkness and tears.

this year isn't a good one,
and nth is going right these days.
i don't know why,
but all i wish for now
is to have a great new year ahead,
where everything turns out good.

the 3rd envy

2007-12-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

wah...
why is everyone suddenly attached huh?
the third one this week,
wah lao...
SIAN lehs.
where is mine?!
WHERE?!

please let eligible guys drop from the sky...

wounded.

2007-12-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

being wounded hurts alot,
but having to stitch up your own wounds yourself,
thats the painful part.

Peter Pan Syndrome

2007-12-01T13:50:00.000+08:00

hmm... i don't know what to say
but just SIAN ARHS!
life seems so bored and uninteresting.
work... go home... work... go home... (repeat the cycle)
you loose your life when you work,
and become a boring person.

i am scared,
when i graduate,
will my life come to an "end".
i don't want such life.
i don't wanna grow up.
now i know why Eunice said she didn't want to grow up,
i finally understand.

Hais.
as you grow older...
your life becomes less colourful;
the burden that didn't exist, suddenly starts to weigh you down;
things don't seem so simple anymore;
the once beautiful world starts to turn ugly;
you see more of the truth that was once hidden;
you are no longer being completely shield under the protective arms of your parents.

my world is no longer the way it use to be.

Bring me to Neverland.

droppings

2007-11-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

hais.
working makes me so depress.
i think its because i am too tired le.
been waking up at friggin' 6am and had to be out of the house by 7.15am
never wake up b4 the sun rises lo.

work today is equally bored
and there is really nothing much to do lehs
apart from some filing, sorting out of things and some data entry...

ate to full for dinner and i am slping early. (been having a bloated tummhy lately)
gonna grow fat.
should start to cut down on dinner,
and prepare to build up resistance to food when i go China in 2 weeks time.
i heard that food in China is oily and fattening cos' its winter there so they need more carb
OH GOSH!
going on a holiday is a very bad idea.

watched channel 8 and rui en was on this show
she is so skinny compared to the past.
oh... envy...
and i like her hair too.

i am so slpy...
so tired.
drained out.

i am thinking about him even more these days.

life ain't any better

2007-11-27T22:48:00.000+08:00

work sucks lehs
boring...
doing data entry,
slacking around (discreetly)
cos' i am surrounded by managers and big shots...
no one to have lunch with.
everyone just goes off to lunch without you!
DAMN.
anyway, i am not there to make friends la,
so it doesn't matter much.
but frankly speaking,
its not that bad either.
at least i am paid. Muhaha.
(now i know why everyone feels so sick of working.)
and btw,
if any of you guys are free in the morning and afternoon,
please come online...
it feels good to have someone to chat to you when you are darn free
and it makes you look busy.
Haha... wayang wayang a bit.

time seem to come to a stand still
crawling so slowly.
hais,
and its been a long time since i've last seen him,
i really wanna ask him out but... (some other time. i've got my reasons)

someone just made a move,
hmm... or am i just thinking too much.
can't be bothered,
but i feel bad sometimes.

Life is so complex, or did we made it that way?

Heroes

2007-11-25T13:26:00.000+08:00

got the Heroes video from Aili...
Wohoo!

platonic

I.M.U

2007-11-25T00:24:00.000+08:00

shopped the whole day today...
went to the travel agency at Chinatown at noon to pay the remaining outstanding amount
then walked all the way to Clarke Quay The Central to shop
then took a bus to orchard and shopped again.
from Wisma to Taka to Centrepoint to OG Orchard to PS to The Cathay.
Wohoo!
but kinda not enough lehs.
haha... but enough for the day cos' my back is aching already.
starting work on Monday... Ka-ching Ka-ching... i hear money rolling in my bank.
HAHA.

watched Enchanted on Thursday with May, her sis and Mr Peh
nice movie but super fairy tale... hAha. Happily Ever After...
the Chipmunk is cute...
had dinner at Fish and Co. Glass House.
Baked Salmon... yummy!

Pool, bowling and supper on Friday with soon-to-be Corporal Peh.

not sure where to go tmr
but will be meeting Aili in the morning to get some stuff from her .
hmm... looking forward to Monday.
i think i will be very tired but for the sake of money...
wo ping le!

I.M.U

T3

2007-11-22T00:41:00.000+08:00

over the weekends,
i went over to the new Changi Terminal 3.
Its mega big and uberly beautiful
enclose in glass and with so many plants inside...
an indoor forest, you could say.

the floor are so damn well polished that it squeaks when you drag your foot and reflects whats underneath those skirts.
Haha

plants everywhere

the high-tech roof.

work in progress

its all glass...

i am standing at the center of the whole building but i cannot see the other end... so imagine, its damn big.

where you say goodbye... and bon voyage

the new terminal has many shops and its Duty Free!

the runway...

where you wash your stinky feet...

it says belt 48.

you can enter the departure and arrival area where its restricted to people without boarding passes. for this open house, you can go in and view the (restricted) place at a charge of $1 for self guided or $3 for a guided tour. all proceeds goes to some charity organisation.

its a good hangout for nua-ing...
pa-tor (hmm...)
studying...
and submerge yourself in the mood for a holiday trip...
---
went for an interview this afternoon at Loyang.
hope i get a job this holiday,
i need ka-ching ka-ching.

is it fading away?

Preach on Mondays

2007-11-19T21:57:00.000+08:00

another monday again.
blues...
Ha. went back for my checkup,
and it isn't really good.
the doctor confirmed that it is swollen lymph nodes (not salivary glands), Plus enlarged tonsils.
don't ask me whats that, cos' i have no idea. (goggle later).
the doctor wanted to do some biopsy but i kinda chickened out later,
so probably will have to do it the next time round.
DUHS. its so sickening. and the doctor say if the tonsils persist,
probably i will need to go under the knife. "!!!"
anyways, just wait and see ba.
won't die any sooner. HAHA.

i've got the urge to cut my hair.
hA. should i?

munchy donuts is coming to hougang mall...
but i never like donuts.

went to Changi Airport T3 ystd
Mega big (63 football fields), but its nice.
its like a greenhouse
and the best part, its got a very nice viewing hall.

watching "Blades of Glory" DVD later
i hope its nice.

should i... this weekend?

like always. its TUESDAY tmr.
and diet starts tmr.

another pointless post.

just ain't right.

My Future

2007-11-18T21:39:00.000+08:00

sometimes, people get so busy with their lives that they forgot what they really want.
although i am not busy with anything,
somehow i have lost direction.
i am so unsure of what i really want now.
the future just feels so bleak,
what should i do next, what do i really want, where my future lies?
these questions are running through my head over and over again.
hais.
probably, i am thinking too much.
chuan dao qiao dou, zi ran zhi.
we'll wait and see, pass a day as it is.

if that's the case, so be it. i'll make you understand, threatening will not help you get what you want from me. you'll lose.

photos, rantings, book review and some contemplating.

2007-11-17T12:21:00.000+08:00

celebrated Aili's Bday on Tuesday
at Party World @ Bishan (must thank Mr Peh for the voucher)
it was fun, the cake was superb, and the air-con was freezing.

frozen and stiff.

a love to die for

i am still cold. as in very very cold. and i need makeup from now on.

only these 3 pics cos' the rest, i look pretty awful in them. was pale and in a very frozen state.

those wrinkles on my forehead!!!

this one is funny!

hais.
no life. no money.
its so bored.
watching you tube all day.
wacthed America Next Top Model (ANTM), [its already cycle 9 in the US]
and some taiwanese idol drama.
Victoria Secret Fashion Show. WohOO! its coming soon, or has it started?
but its ard this period though.
OH YA! i read books too...
like thick books (not Harry Potter).
its called "The Interpretattion of Murder",
set in the early 20th century of America, where people still travel in carriages.
freaking nice, with an unexpected twist.
a mixture of fiction and non-fiction, with some psychology theories of Sigmund Freud.
its very interesting.

looking through old photos.
as in over the past few years
and gosh!
i did changed. but not so dramatic as people have said.
i think i am still recognisable lehs.
thought of posting those horrid photos of the old me
but i am rather paiseh about them.
HAHA. they are really hmm...

weekends now...
nothing much going on.
someone please kindly date me.
treat me for movies, lunch and dinner.
HAHA...
yup, din ask him out.
don't ask why, because i don't know too. (Surprise huh.)

i am broke,
and i need to make use of this holidays to save for year-end shopping and other "unnecessary" stuff.
its unnecessary in my mum's eyes.

its just a dumb post.
no main point, no purpose.
HA.

No one can choose your mountain or tell you when to climb;
Its yours alone to challenge at your own pace and time.

Tears for Boredom

2007-11-15T21:52:00.000+08:00

i am so bored at home till i cried for no practical reasons
just felt so lonely all of a sudden.
this boredom is killing me,
reducing me into a moron.

when there is school,
i want holidays.
now,
i just want to be out of this house.
it so depressing being couped in a home with nothing to do.
the whole "aura" is just so negative.
sad and negative thoughts just flood your whole head.
lucky, i am still in control of these emotions,
if not the headlines tmr would be:
"Girl, 20 Dies From Boredom, Literally."

everyday i just don't feel like waking up,
because there is nothing much you could do.
if i am not watching tv, i will be you tube-ing, if not reading some storybooks.
THATS IT!
ITS KILLING ME SOONER OR LATER!
and when my parents get home,
its nagging nagging and nagging.
they nag me for being so slothiness.
HELLO! HOW PERKY CAN I BE WHEN I AM STUCK AT HOME THE WHOLE DAY.
if i go out,
they nag that i treat this house like a hotel.
HEY! I DON'T LIVE IN A NUNNERY. I NEED A LIFE!
see. its so difficult whether i am a home or not.
just feel so pek chek.
gosh! and i feel like crying again. Emo freak.
GRR!

i am going to tear down this house and create hell.

OH FUCK!

2007-11-14T00:10:00.000+08:00

i've got the re-enrolment thingy in december
and i happen to be away.
DAMN!
why does everything that is important falls on the week i am away.
Jeremy's P.O.P oso that week (none of my business, as if he will invite me. HA)
shit la.
how?!
gonna call and ask tmr.
if i can wake up...
this is trouble.

haiz.

2007-11-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

holidays now.
and i am so bored.
feel like working but i am lazy to move,
slacking at home makes me even tired.
shopping, but i am very broke.

i hate going out on weekends.
its so crowded everywhere,
and there are couples flooding the streets.
Grr.
when can we meet?! Haiyo.
the present is sitting at the corner collecting dust le.
six weeks, might as well make it to 2 months.
HAHA.

Welcome to my sucky life.

unlucky!

2007-11-10T23:04:00.000+08:00

my saturday is gone like that.
spend the whole afternoon and night playing mahjong.
and i lost,
27 bucks!
the first time in history that i lost so much.
Wah.
this is just not my week.
and within 5 minutes after reaching home,
i quarrelled with my mum.
Woohoo!
i am really suay this week!

all over!

2007-11-10T00:50:00.000+08:00

including myself.
i am gonna fail HMT. seriously.
i gave up totally.
the 20 marks part B was disaster, i wrote nothing. REALLY!
and the part A was a load of rubbish and i don't know what i am writing.
gonna see HMT next semester.
GRR!

my mood is fluctuating
PMS i think.

this weekend is crap without him.
he has booked out since wednesday night
he will only book in on sunday night,
and he has not even half a day to meet me. Grr Grr!!
anyway, not in a very good condition to meet him too.
look so sick and haggard.

went to meet Eunice and Mei Xi at Bugis today
and it happen that Luo Zhi Xiang was having his autograph session there
and it was jam packed!
lotsa crazy fan-cies.
haiyo. kids shall be kids
and yup, we all have been through that phase too (but not so crazy la)

Crappy weekends ahead. Boo!
HMT again. Boo Boo!
Bored and Sucky holis. Boo Boo Boo!

this feeling is taking control of me.

how bad can your day be?

2007-11-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

very.
super bad. (not that movie)
there not much time left and there is load to study.
and the worse part is my weekend is screwed once again.
!!!
i hate this.
he isn't free.
and no one wants to go town with me.(i can understand)
i am pissed with the first.
duhs.
life is just so un-smooth
sadded life.
sadded human being.

and historians are really idiots.

dejected is my middle name

i am so sick of it

2007-11-08T17:13:00.000+08:00

stop judging me, cause i can never live the life you want.
stop criticising me, you are in no position to do that.
stop poking your nose into my affairs, its none of your god damn business.
stop nagging at me, because it will only fall on deaf ears.
stop interfering with whatever i do, it irks me even more.

JUST SHUT UP! BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT EVEN MY MUM!
IF WHAT I DO DOESN'T PLEASE YOUR EYE, JUST TURN AWAY,
AT BEST I'LL POKE THEM BLIND FOR YOU.
AND THANKS FOR YOUR "CONCERN", THEY ARE TOO MUCH FOR ME TO BEAR.

seriously, just fuck off. i am so sick of you.

Back!

2007-11-07T23:35:00.000+08:00

He's BACK!
and i am happy,
but at the same time very very tired.

HMT IS HELL!
there's so many things to study and memorise
but there is so little time left,
erm...
because i procrastinated.
its ok, all shall end on friday at 1.15pm.
HAHA.
shall spend whatever time i have left to study.

weekends will be fun,
and hopefully things go smoothly.

he can bring a smile to my face, and brightens up my day.

Nobody's Home

2007-11-06T23:38:00.000+08:00

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find a reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

Random

2007-11-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

okie. may and jas did their 8 points about their perfect partner
and i just realise how much i love lefties. (He is a lefty too! - by coincidence)
the way lefties write is so sexy. HAHA.
and it is said that lefties are smart people.
Wohoo. i am gonna learn how to write with my left hand

another 4 days and all sufferings will end
and maybe i would be able to meet him...
reviews on the movie "the gameplan" is good
and probably gonna watch it this weekend.

i miss those mahjong tiles.

weather forecast

2007-11-05T01:48:00.000+08:00

a moment ago, my msn nick was "pray it will not rain for the next few days"
and now, i rained like cats and dogs.
with lightning and thunder too...
its a storm.
DARN.

he is in field camp,
and its raining heavily.
this is very bad.
please don't rain anymore,
till his field camp is over on wed.
i don't mind being scorch to death under the hot sun. HAHA,
but try not let it be too warm. thats bad too.
just a little sunshine and cool breeze

as if i can control the weather...

i don't know if its true...

it tickles me

2007-11-03T20:46:00.000+08:00

i am so gonna die from laughing too much...
WAHAHA...
its so Funny lar.

Tagged! - Perfect Partner

2007-11-03T19:15:00.000+08:00

okies... got tagged by shevon. (i was wondering if that Kelly was referring to me. HAHA. my name is too common...)
so here are my 8 points about my perfect partner.
i think 8 is too little.

1. Dependable
its important that i can depend on him to take care of my everyday needs, cos i being an only child, i depend quite alot on my parents.

2. Financially stable
able to provide for me. i don't need big house, luxurious fleet of cars, or branded stuff but at least i can led a comfortable life without worrying about finances.

3. Good physique
he need not be very macho with eight packs la, but at least fit with well define muscles. (good enough to piggy back me.HA).

4. Can tahan my nonsensical temper/mood
when i am in a bad mood my temper can be very fiery, and i can be an angel when i am in a good mood. he have got to love the both sides of me. (i am a little diva-ish sometimes, so he has got to pamper me too!) - LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM.

5. Family oriented
Very important! he has to love my parents and my extended family. ALSO, he has got to be filial to his parents.

6. Good personality and character
he's got to be respectful, to anyone. even strangers. like give up seat to the needy, help the needy... and stuff like that. also, he has got to respect me.

7. Needs to have his own thinking
Dont't go with the flow. He needs to know what he want in life and work towards it.
A man who know what he wants is SEXY. Very Sexy. guys who are aimless are whimps and thats a major turn off.

8. Knowledgable
he need not be the "know-it-all" kind or those brainy kind (cos' i will look stupid and bimbotic with him) but at least have good general knowledge and is able to strike a conversation that has substance and interesting. i don't like guys who cannot hold a conversation, talk with no depth or boast alot. at the same time, guys who talk too chim are very irritating.

NO MORE?! can i like add two more to make it 10?

9. Class
Ah beng and nua-nua dressing is a NO-No. flamboyant dressing and weird hairdos are big No-no too. Just simple, clean and smart would be good enough. (guys in uniform and suits are HOT! - I LIKE!)

10. Be there when i need him
Listen to my worries and fears. Lend me his shoulder to cry on, hold my hands and led me when i am lost, assure me when i am insecure, comfort me when i am weak, let me lean on him when i am tired.

i am not sure if there are such guys in the world. but i hope there is.
actually, after doing this, i realise the kind of guy i like now is very different from what i like a few years back. i guess i have grown. i remember in the past, i was looking for guys that look as if the walk out from fairy tales, tall and handsome, charming and rich. its all so superficial, nothing deep. HAHA.
WHAT A BIMBO.
i don't want handsome guys now, it makes me insecure and i think that people/things that look good on the outside may not be good inside. of course, he needs to be presentable and i must kan de sun yan oso. he need not be tall neither can he be too short. around my height would be good.
really, 8 is just too little, or is it because my standards are too high. afterall, it says PERFECT partner.

may and jasmine... DO IT!. haha...
i don't have 8 people to tag on (i've got no friends... boohoohoo!)
cos' lots of them don't blog.

i don't know if he fits into my perfect partner criteria.

Random Droppings

2007-11-02T18:32:00.000+08:00

next week, i will be free!
anyway, he is in field camp now,
so he won't be back this weekend.
hopefully, next weekend,
he would not have any guard duty.
*keeping my fingers cross*

i need to do some retail therapy...
haven been shopping for quite sometime,
but i need to save money,
to buy that Nintendo DS Lite.
i could have just buy them now,
but i think my bank account would be very miserable after that.
seriously, i don't know how and where i spent my money on.
how can i have such a miserable sum of money in the bank?
guess i'll have to window shop liao...

the meal which i stuff myself to death

sushi tower, we ate this much

i like my sashimi

i am suppose to study for exams, but... (drawn by may)

the scientific explanation for love

early love is when you love the way the other person makes you feel
mature love is when you love the person as he or she is.

nature has wires us for one special person. (i like this phrase.)

wo bu xiang du shu le...!

the perfume i wanna get!

i like the box. its red.

someone gave it to my mum... since she is not using, i might as well use for her...

a moment blue...

a moment orange...

MESSY!

the photos are really random la...
haha... cos' nothing much happen. nothing interesting to take oso.

you are not in a position to judge me, so if you have nothing to say, just shut up.

exhausted. very.

2007-10-31T13:33:00.000+08:00

i am really really very tired.
slpy and completely drained out.
these exams are taking a toll on me.
the daily dose of chicken essence and ginseng don't seem to help now.
i need my special dose of J. HAHA.
its powerful enough to resurrect the dead. MUHAHA.

another reason why i am so tired its because an old issue.
i hate ppl threatening me, asking me to lead my life the way they want!
don't threaten me. i am not afraid of it. it will never work.
its my life, so don't tell me what i should do with it.
i know its out of concern but i am happy the way i am now,
why do you need to care about what others think,
if i don't give a damn to their comments why should you?!
on what grounds are they making such assumptions?
i don't care about what others think, and i think you should too.
and please stop saying that its making you mei mian zi,
if thats really the case, i think its your problem and not mine.
its always about the "saving face" issue.
everytime, we always make each other unhappy because of this problem. GRR!

yes, i ought to be studying now. time is running out and i know nothing!
WAH!. gonna be so dead.

if i could see you now.

Random

2007-10-29T21:02:00.000+08:00

took a cab back today
with may and jas...
and the driver is super duper blur
does hougang ave 6 sounds like sixth avenue?
hAha...

ate mac just now,
and felt really sinful lehs.
haha... too much food over the weekend le,
and now still eat mac.

and yes, i will prove may and jas wrong.
they know what i am referring to.
and from now on, when i write about some things, i will specify whom i am referring to, if not there will be too many speculations that are very worth laughing about.
HAHA.

and i was talking with may and jas today (although i ought to be studying) about one of our sec sch friend,
and may asked me... is jeremy the one?
hmm... haven really thought about it
because yah... things are still premature.
and seriously i don't know.
if yes its because of that stability and security ba. i think he is dependable.
if no, its because of our personality and character. huge difference.
but like i say... things are still really premature. very.

this is really sad.

who will make my eiffel tower dream come true?

Shrinking!

2007-10-28T00:52:00.000+08:00

dinner at Goodwood Park Hotel.
was nice... very...
i like the deserts best. ITS ICE CREAM!
and hohoho... i gonna be fat.

kinda feeling moody now.
cos' i just realised i cannot meet him next week too...
he is in field camp...
that makes it to 5 weeks.
the earliest day i could meet him would be probably 10th nov,
and that's very very long...
hais.
just hope that day arrives soon and things will just go smoothly for the next few days.

my wishlist keeps getting longer and longer.
and my bank account is shrinking at an astonishing rate!

Sucky.

2007-10-27T12:30:00.000+08:00

FUCK LA.
army sucks lo.
HOW COME BOOK OUT ON SUNDAY?!
and i need to mug tmr.
this is so irritating.
army screwed my day.

if my daddy becomes the president,
i will make sure that defence minister resigns,
and the army company/platoon commando got de-moted.
HAHA.
if only...

4 weeks...
freaking one month never see him le.
shld have met that night...
darn. i know i will regret someday,
and now i am.

why am i always doing things and making decisions that i will regret later?

2 more to go!

2007-10-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

2 papers down... 2 more to go
and i think "distinctions are waving good bye to me"
GRR!
studied alot but somehow my mind goes blank the moment i enter that hall.
Stress? probably...
and i think too much stress backfires everything.
but how can there not be stress,
there is this invisible burden on me.
the burden to perform well and not let anyone down, do my mum proud and score well...
i don't know how to turn these stress into a motivation, the motivation to do well.
i crack under stress...
THIS IS SO BLOODY BAD.

ain't slping well
but i manage to dream of him...
when you appear in my dreams, things are just so perfect in there.
but in reality, its always opposite. how some huh?
HA.
someone very "wise" once said "you've got to MAKE things happen and not wait for them to happen"
but you need to hands to clap, isn't it?

if someone can sing Jesse MacCartney's "Come to Me" to me... i'll probably marry you...
Let me be the one,
Holding you every night.
Sharing the smiles and tears you cry.
Let me be the one,
Loving you when you're weak.
For all of the strength you need,
You can come to me.

you make me feel that everything in life is worth living for.

disappointed

2007-10-24T16:12:00.000+08:00

felt so disappointed in myself
i think i have let everyone down, including myself.
i did studied hard for the paper
but somehow it was so difficult.

effort does not equals to results and
DAMN, i have prove it.
i don't want anything now,
i just hope the 3 other paper will be a breeze.
and my GPA would be in my acceptable range.

although that reply was nothing out of the ordinary,
the clouds over my head don't seem so thick now.
thanks for making my day right, somehow.

please make everything go well. that's my one and only wish now.

The best Monday ever!

2007-10-22T21:51:00.000+08:00

mondAy... never felt so good.
because tmr is tuesday... and its his birthday!
we will be meeting soon... like this weekend. hopefully. if nothing goes wrong.

another reason why this monday felt so good was because
the doctor says that swelling is nothing much then just a swelling of the salivary gland.why it happens, i don't know. never asked or maybe i wasn't hearing him talk.
it was a painful procedure though, cos i had to do the la- someting-scope, putting that micro mini camera through your nose down to the throat. THAT WAS VERY BAD. i wanted to cry but no tears came out. wanted to shout but no voice came out. wanted to kill that doctor but i had no knife... HAHA.
i am just glad...

its exactly 2200hrs. in another 2 hrs it will be his birthday, and i will be the first to wish him... HAHA
wohoo! (i feel like its my birthday too...)

accounting paper on wednesday.
mugging hard.
prices and markets on friday.
praying hard.

Spreading Happiness

2007-10-21T23:13:00.000+08:00

i am happy...
because... i am not very sure either
just feeling happy.
all i know is that you're the reason why i am happy.

3 weeks.
i haven seen him for 3 weeks.
but soon i will see him...
SOON.

need to jian fei le
ate too much over the weekend.
grr! i don't like when i eat too much,
feeling guilty and sinful.
jian fei jian fei

tmr morning, need to go the doc's office
hope things will be fine.

may did not remove her ugly toenail.
haha.
somehow it reminds me of that very gory movie "Hostel"
EWW!...
and speaking of toenail, i painted them blue just now
from olive metallic green to blue.
i want the colour of shocking pink and neon yellow.

anyway, this post is a little meaningless.
nothing to write
just wanna say i am happy.
never felt such happiness for quite a while
even though studying for exams is tiring, but i am still feeling happy. weird huh.
exams. i need to maximise my brain power.
ginseng tea, chicken essence, Nescafe Latte, bird nest...
my main course every day. HAHA.

woohoo! happy happy happy!
spreading happiness to everyone. !

[this post is really meaningless]

Feelin' You

2007-10-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

I see something in you
Something nobody sees
I see yellow and blue
Yeah, the sunshine and the sea
When I think of love I think of you
Yeah it's my favourite thing to do
You're my missing puzzle piece
Yeah you are, perfect for me

You walk into a room
All eyes are on you
Everyone wants to know your name
Baby you make 'em swoon
Yeah baby you're so smooth
You take every breath I breathe away
I just wanna tell you baby
How much I am feelin' you

You, you, you, you, you
Yeah, you got your own rules
I don't mind playing your way
Baby take me to school
And I'll listen to every word you say

I'm right where I wanna be
Next to you standing next to me
Oh baby why don't you take my hand
And we'll walk to the other side
Where all we see is that love is blind
I think by now you understand
Just wanna tell you baby
How much I am feelin'...

ps: i am loving this song.

17th oct

2007-10-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

before today, i already don't have much liking for china chinese citizens
after today, i really dislike them to the core.
they are so friggin' inconsiderate!
you think this is our own country can anyhow throw ur rubbish around arhs.
BLOODY BITCH.
was in school today, studying (and daydreaming),
as usual when the lecturer releases the class for breaks
lots of ppl flock out and sit on the benches outside.
on my bench sat 3 china bitch, they ate, talk and laugh like nobody business which i don't mind, because its their break. (i am reasonable too, ok)
but then when they left for lectures later, they never throw their rubbish away!
that pisses me off lo.
half eaten curry puff...
GROSS!
HELLO!!! THIS IS SINGAPORE, NOT CHINA where you can anyhow throw your rubbish.
GRR!
F*** LA!
i am so going to learn how to swear in chinese.

when i am stress i get irritated easily. HA.
too bad.

May is going to remove her toenail tmr,
cos its in a pretty bad shape after being stepped by someone. OUCH!
she's gonna cry for sure, and i am not there to see her cry. DAMN!
i wanna take photos of her crying and show the whole world.
Blog about it girl. haha.

bought that Impact brand of fresh mint. Peach flavoured.
after eating,
i feel like kissing someone...
haha.
the taste, the smell and the sweetness just lingers in your mouth, and you really got the urge to kiss someone lehs. HAHA
May asked what if i meet jer and eat that fresh mint,
*cover my mouth tight tight*
i don't know what i will do lehs. HAHA.
outrage his modesty.?! MUHAHAHA

ps: you rock my world

16th oct

2007-10-16T21:28:00.000+08:00

had sushi ystd for tea...
and stuff myself till i was bloated.
went to sleep at 7 in the evening cos' i didn't want to see anymore food for dinner.
and guess what... i slept till 8am this morning... WOHOO!
13hrs, on a weekday. its a record.
i can sleep longer during weekends though. HAHA.

its tuesday...
i can see friday/saturday nearing... he is booking out lo... WOOOHOOOO!
his birthday is next week!
finish the card. got that present. YAAAHHHOOO!
now, how to celebrate? thats the big headache.

must meet jasmine and may together more often.
had fun. but they talk too much nonsense.
HA.

JAY CHOU's NEW SONG IS SO CUTE! so cowboy-ish.
haha.

ps: will all these be worthwhile? hope so.

photos - 14th oct

2007-10-14T13:34:00.000+08:00

accompanied May to meet HuiLan, Valerie, Wei Chian, Perline and Jasmine at Punggol Park Bliss Cafe a few weeks ago. its good to see old sec sch friends again. the ambience was good, but i discovered a better place, at Bishan Park. HAHA

the messy one...

and the neat one.

i am talented in arts... HAHA.

his birthday card from Prints @ CityLink. have not complete with the inside of the card.

frisbee @ Bishan Park

AND SIM ULTIMATE WON! haha... WOOHOO!!!

not much pictures though. nothing much happened, and i forgot to take photos when there is something going on. duhs!

rainy sunday. moody.
i survived 2 weeks without seeing him. HAHA... *Applause!*
almost wanted to asked him out ystd, (all bcos of wk. tempt me)
sms-ed him but he could only make it after 1030pm, decided not to go as i am not sure what to do also.
probaby in another 2 weeks time when the first 2 papers are over.

please stop raining.
its making me feel slpy and moody.
its sunday. and i am feeling nasty as usual. HA

2007-10-13T21:23:00.000+08:00

new york new york is good...
damn tired now.
frisbee... SIM WoN! YEAHS!
but the weather sucks.
kept on raining

gotta go NUH on the 22nd which the polyclinic referred me to
grr! a little worried now, cos i think there's some heredity thingy running in my family.
on my maternal side, my grandma died of heart failure, and i have CHD - congential heart disease. hmm... now my paternal side, kidney problem runs in their blood, cos lots of them had kidney related problems and now my grandma have something like "leukemia" - although its not confirm but its more or less in the cards.
now i am worried. cannot be so suay ba...
toto, 4d oso not so zun
just hoping i am thinking too much
anyway, finding someone to accompany me go, cos my mama not free on that day.
GRR!

be happy. thats very impt.
am i happy?
yes, kind of.

frisbee! - 13th oct

2007-10-13T10:29:00.000+08:00

i am gg to watch frisbee later in the afternoon.
after that is new york new york for dinner!!
gonna be fat.

somehow i think i not gg to meet him this week
bcos... i oso dunno why. just don't feel like it.
and hope i don't regret later.

i think i must concentrate and focus on my studies, at least for now.
yes, i going to turn into a geek.
but its a pretty geek for sure.
HAHA.

weird - 12th oct

2007-10-12T11:00:00.000+08:00

怪事年年有，今年特别多
something really freaky happen ystd.
was in school studying
and at about 4 plus
got this china girl sudden sat beside me.
of all the empty table
she chose to squeeze in with me! DUH!
nvm...
i was minding my own business when out of no where, for no apparent reason,
she grabbed my notes on the table and started flipping through it and blabbered loads of heavily accent chinese which i had no idea what it was.
HELLO, DO YOU HAVE ANY COURTESY, BLOODY CHINA BITCH. WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?!
she traumatised me. shocked beyond words.
i didn't know what to say, and if i started spewing vulgarities at her, she would not even understand.
how do you scold fucking bitch in chinese?
thats not even the end of her weird ass antics.
later she moved closer beside me and looked at what i was surfing on my laptop.
SOMEONE PLEASE SCREW THAT BITCH! its so irritating and scary can!

then ystd on my way home,
there was these very bad accident near MacRitchie.
was really bad. jammed all the way to i dunno where. but it was really long.

today morning,
got these two old couple quarreling at the carpark near my house.
real loud and the woman was literally beating and slaping that poor old guy.
these is like a so drama.
hAha... very interesting.

你是爱我的
am i right?
HAHA
erm... dun think so.

11th oct

2007-10-11T10:32:00.000+08:00

is this coincidental or what?
i don't give a damn about it,
just don't irritate me.

i need sleep.

its pink and blue(my braces).

mugging.

i love america next top model(ANTM).
i like renee's hair.

ps: because of you, i don't know how to love anyone else.

this is bad - 10th oct

2007-10-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

i don't know how to start.
things aren't right to begin with
my grandma has blood disorder, the doctor's primary diagnosis.
have to wait for further test to confirm the illness
this sounds bad, leukemia is probably in the cards.
hais.
hope things can brighten up.

i've got my own issues too.
but i think i am coping fine
as compared, i think my problems are really minor. haha...
the usually whinning of how much i am thinking about him,
what is he thinking up there and stupid stuff
that i think May have heard a zillion times of.
SORRY. (apologetic)
but i cannot help it...
next time you will understand,
probably that Sh--- guy.
MUHAHAHAA!!!

mugging mugging mugging.
hardwork is needed to be able to taste the sweetness of your labour!
no pain no gain.
WAY TO GO!!!

lastly...
still thinking about this saturday,
should i go out or not?
if i want, i must remember to sms him soon (tmr),
he is always very "w-o-l-s"
and...
photos will be up pretty soon i guess...
if i have the time.

this post is suppose to be depressing, i am breaking a bad news. but it ended a little cheery and perky. hmm... gonna go and cry a river.

seriously, i hope things are not as bad as i think it would be.

ps: daydreaming about possibilities, but it shall never happen in real life.
there's a difference between "reel" and "real" life.

the 7 days of the week - 8th oct

2007-10-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

7 days of the week:
Monday - I SUPER HATE MONDAYS
Tuesday - I HATE TUESDAYS
Wednesday - I DON'T LIKE WEDNESDAYS
Thursday - I KINDA NOT LIKE THURSDAYS
Friday - I LIKE FRIDAYS
Saturday - I LOVE SATURDAYS
Sunday - THE SUCKIEST DAY OF THE WEEK

1 mocha and 1 hazlenut latte = i think i didn't do well for HMT

ps: you swept me of my feet, blew my mind away, made my heart skipped a beat and i fell in love with you.

7th oct

2007-10-07T15:08:00.000+08:00

I AM SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF NOW!
I'VE GOT A "CR" FOR MAB!!
its better than pass but i know i can do better than this!!
GRR!!

WORK HARD FOR EXAMS.

i think HMT is a gone case... seriously.

down - 7th oct

2007-10-07T11:26:00.000+08:00

had one of the most boring weekend ever.
did not go out, other than having dinner with my grandma
just did not have the mood to do anything, or go anywhere.
GRR!
i hate it when i feel so down.
i think i know why, but... nvm
its personal.

gonna lead the most boring life for the next few weeks until all papers are over,
that will be 10nov,
very long way to go. MORE THAN A MTH!
i hate it. but what can i do?

gotta work very hard now,
don't want to regret later.
i want to taste the fruits of my labour - sweet.

ps: i am indeed feeling very lousy. very very lousy. i hate the way i am feeling now. and my life is in a mess. i've got nothing to look forward to everyday. its just blank and emptiness.

2007-10-06T13:12:00.000+08:00

feel so depress suddenly.
more than depress i would say.
i don't know why.
PMS?
maybe.

HMT on monday,
but i've got no mood to do anything.
just wanna hide under those blanket and let the world pass by.
i don't want to go back to the past, neither face the present nor know the future.
i am just lost in this buzzling world.
if i can cry i would,
i am just disgusted with the world and with myself.

只要看你一眼一瞬间
哪怕是最后画面
我的世界
因为爱过而完美
谁都不该离太远
只要看你一眼一瞬间
足够我熬过千年
我不后悔
爱若让末日提前
我们要一起
好好迎接那句点

ps: and i am very irritated by that guy! i am going to ignore you.

money - 5th oct

2007-10-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

i found out that Tangs do carry Fred Perry
and its like freaking expensive!!!
i noe its expensive but to the extend that i could imagine!
a male polo tee would cost me a bomb... like $159!
ehs. i could buy that D&G perfume at taka!
i am so broke now,
somewhere and somehow i need to make more money.!

i am so proud of myself that i did not buy anything. WELL DONE!
need to save more so that i can spend when the holidays are here!!!

been blabbering rubbish with May the whole day while shopping
may says i am too free that i think about stupid things
correction: i am feeling empty.
i need a focus in my life besides school.

and you know what...
i came up with so many things to ask when he's not around
and when i am with him,
i am just so lost of words.
everything that i have been thinking about the whole week,
just sinks into my stomach
and its so hard to vomit them out.
GRR! whats happening??!!
seriously, i need to talk talk talk MORE the next time
yack like i haven been talking for years.
i am serious!

ps: am i worrying too much or is my intuition correct?

feel like killing them - 4th oct

2007-10-04T21:40:00.000+08:00

if i can go back to the past
i would have definitely kill those historians.
Mayo, Taylor, Fayol, Gantt... blah blah blah

everytime when i study HMT
i will knock off no matter how awake i am b4 that.
studied in sch for about 5 hrs today.
slept for about 2hr30mins. studied for 1hr plus the rest of the time was spent starring into space wishing i could go back to centuries ago and kill these guys off.

ps: hold my hands, take me into your world and i will be yours forever.

take control. - 4th oct

2007-10-04T00:09:00.000+08:00

i need to take control of everything in my life.
have been losing control over things and i really don't like it.
when i am not in control, i feel so helpless, uneasy and there are lots of unknowns.
i need to set goals and make sure i stick to them,
i need determination. I NEED CONTROL!

control freak? not really.
perfectionist? yes.

mugging period.

project!, test!, exams! - 3rd oct

2007-10-03T13:12:00.000+08:00

in school now.
gonna camp in school today le...
got that damn HMT project to rush.
GRR! i hate it la.
due tmr and we are rushing to consolidate everything.
i don't like last minute work but its only then can i really feel the urgency to get things done, sit down and devote all the time i have to doing it.
still got HMT test next week. DUHS!

gotta buck up,
stay focus and put all other thoughts aside.
FOCUS! CONCENTRATE! DETERMINE! STUDY HARD!
i don't want t regret later when the result are out.

ps: why do important dates fall around the same period? and why is that period always the busiest and most stressful one?

2th oct

2007-10-02T13:34:00.000+08:00

blogging on lappie and i am in school now.
got lesson at 2pm.
I AM SO TIRED AND SLEEPY!
lecture till 5pm.
i gonna die and rot in there.

medical red alert - 1st oct

2007-10-01T20:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHILDRENS' DAY!

i miss being a kid
no worries no stress.
just pure innocence.
but we all have to grow up,
although most of us don't feel like it. (me too)

anyway, i went to the polyclinic this afternoon to see the doc
regarding the lump on my neck that refuses to go away
did blood test and everything seems fine.
but the doctor was rather concern about the swelling and referred me to NUH ENT Dept.
HELLO NUH. another appt there again.
let me see...
i've got my dental, cardiology and cardiothoaric appt there. now ENT.
its like one of my "fav" hangout now.
i know that place inside out. hais.
now i am worried about whats happening to me.
the preliminary diagnosis was "swelling of lymph nodes"
darn. shld go google it to see...
hais. just pray hard its just a scare.

arghs
i feel like a weak bitch.
whinning and whinning non stop.
its only been 2 days since i saw him and now i am starting to miss him.
HATE THAT I LOVE YOU!
a few more days before he books out,
but i guess i can't meet him this week.
hmm...

ps: who knows if there is any Fred Perry boutique or anywhere that sells authentic Fred Perry apparels.?

30th sept

2007-09-30T11:09:00.000+08:00

what a great time to fall sick!
been falling sick quite often this few months.
Hais.
woke up ystd afternoon with a slight sore throat le.
today, even worse. sore throat, headache and body ache.
better suppress them down before they get out of hand.
i cannot afford to fall sick now!
with HMT due date lurking around and the test...
darn!

i feel like screaming and brawling like a toddler.
life is so tough.
physically weak.
mentally wreck (stress from school).
somehow, someway, i will survive it.
ITS TEMPORARY! after all these exams and stuff, i will have my fun!

ps: praying for strength, love and miracle.

chuck and larry - 30th sept

2007-09-30T01:25:00.000+08:00

CHUCK & LARRY MOVIE IS NICE!
haha... ITS JUST DARN FUNNY AND GAY-ISH.
i like that part when they got "married"
"i now pronounce you husband and husband. you may kiss the husband."
muhaha.
the show is worth seeing la. rather pro-gay though. (i still don't like the idea of guy-guy relationship, but i don't ostracise them.)

eh. the so call "date" today was so-so. but i felt like slapping myself la.
grr! when i see him there's just silence and emptiness. GRR GRR!!
after movie, when back hougang to ta bao food for my mum then met him, wk and his friend at kovan.
ehs. am i thinking too much or what, but i think wk brought his friend got hidden agenda lehs. HAHA.

he's booking in tmr. in the evening, like 6.30pm.
hais. time just fly (like 120kmph)

just take care.

random stuff - 29th sept

2007-09-29T14:14:00.000+08:00

sometimes, you've got to accept that things change.
i don't know why its so hard for me to adapt now.
i think i am too comfortable with the old that i have missed those new opportunities.
they say that the older you get the more difficult is it to get out of your comfort zone and adapt to new changes. (i think i am old le...)
grr!.
slowly but surely, i will adapt to them and accept it.

got tonnes of things that needs to be done
- MAB tutorials
- HMT essay
- HMT test
- clean my room
- start revising for exams.
STRESS!!

i need to do mask le. VERY URGENT!
been rather 'off colour',
i need that glow.

CHUCK & LARRY MOVIE LATER!
WOOHOO!
but i am still shaking inside.
din sleep well last night.
i need to calm down.
been pacing around the house the whole morning
DUHS!
that sense of excitment and nervousness is damn hard to describe.
just feel like there are millions of butterflies in ur tummy,
the head is blank and hollow (if you scream into my ear, i an assure you that there will be echo. thats how empty my brain is now.)
DAMN!

心花怒放, 小路乱撞
HAHA.

28th sept

2007-09-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

saw WK online just now.
tot he sabo me sia... (i told may i will chop him up if he sabo me sia)
but it turn out to be some other things la.
that buddy of his really got him into deep shit and it seems really serious.
but i think its over exaggerated lehs.
they magnify the incident too much le la. (drama mama)

anyway. TMR! OMG!
movie tmr with him.
i am rather excited but very scared that i went to the loo like alot of times today.
i tot i will pee in my pants. HAHA.
BTW, the Shilin street snack at Marina Square sucks sia
the guy taking the order is a damn blur cuckoo bird. HAHA. his face look so lost all te time. *shake head*
bought a ripcurl purse/handbag. (its shocking pink)
*shake head again*
I NEED TO SAVE!
but i want to buy heels lehs...

TMR!!!
ARGHZ!!!
i dunno why i am so nervous, scared and excited sia.
its not the first time le lehs, but everytime will be so Kan Cheong one
may say i "zhong du tai shen"
haha.
yes. i think i will nt be giving up anytime sooner. DAMN.
so fickle minded. or rather i am not ready ba. i still find it hopeful
or is it that i interpret things wrongly.
but whatever the case is, i will try my best, and in the near future i will still be working towards my goal. WISH ME LUCK!

as for tmr. GOSH! even thinking about it makes me feel so sick.
butterflies in my stomach.
the room is spinning.
and i think i am going to get a panic attack soon.

ps: i wonder if his new hairstyle suits him. *smiles*. he replied my msg this morning like 0540hrs. what is he doing so early in the morning? he already book out le ma? he is used to NS life le, must get up so early. was laughing in bed when i saw his msg. end up cannot get back to slp, drag till 6 plus close to 7 am den went back to slp. woke at 8 and was darn late for class.

its today! - 27th sept

2007-09-27T17:23:00.000+08:00

ITS TODAY!
he maybe out now, or maybe later in the evening.
BUT ITS GONNA BE TODAY!

its raining cats and dogs.
its cold and wet.
duhz. i hate rainy days.

i am missing that smell,
that smile,
and that feeling of happiness.

ps: waiting for that reply.

24hrs left - 26th sept

2007-09-26T21:19:00.000+08:00

It tmr!
in another 24hrs, he shld be back!!
out of that miserable island, and back to civilisation.
WooHoo!!!!!
haha...
i am sooooooooo happy.
i cannot stop smiling.
my spirits are high and in a very very good mood.
even if we cannot meet this weekend, i am still happy.

anyway, jie mei is in SISPEC now.
Pasir Laba Camp.
where the hell is that place?!
some secluded area in the west? haha.
he so wen rou (Muhaha...)
don't know can survive ma?

they say the moon is the biggest and roundest today.
well... its really big and its like hanging very low.

heard the radio on my way back
it is reported that in taiwan there is one guy who died because he choked on mooncake.
apparently, he had stroke before.
the stroke did not kill him but the mooncake did! HA.

we are under the same sky,
with the moon over our heads.
what are you thinking of?

ps: hmm... i am afraid and worried about everything.

recap - 25th sept

2007-09-25T23:49:00.000+08:00

2 more days to 27th sept!
excited, happy, nervous...

and yes, PHOTOS!

Mind Cafe - 13th Sept 2007
met Wei Kiat and May.
Wk enjoying his block leave.
Jeremy entered NS.
duhz.

D1.

i dunno what is this game called, but its fun.

UNO STACKO!! that smirk on Wei Kiat's face!

s-u-s-p-e-n-s-e...

CRASH!

Life - Simpsons Edition

i can bite.

dizzy...

lanterns everywhere.

Mike Tyson - Singapore Version.
---

this auntie was eating her roast pork rice on the bus! super inconsiderate.
the smell was so damn strong. Singaporeans!.

---
Jie Mei's POP / P&M Test - 11th Sept 2007
Jie Mei had his passing out parade. (fyi, he went to SISPEC). suppose to meet Jeremy for dinner together before his enlistment but he went to fly kite. Grr! (wear until so pretty but...) in the end, met Jie Mei for dinner instead. Thai Express de Tom Yam Soup is NICE! and thanks for the dinner!

hours before P&M test. super stress out. memory work.

---

Sentosa / Vivo - 21st Sept 2007
went tanning in the afternoon after E.R. lecture.
the sun was good initially but after an hour or so there was so many clouds in the sky and it blocked the sun!
someone came up to me and requested that i take a photo with him...
and i rejected him right in the face. haha.

man: hi, can i take a photo with you?
me: HUH?! NOW?
man: do you mind?
me: YES! i mind.
man: ok.

donuts from Vinco. Changed its name to Dippin' Donuts but still the same bosses, only Jenny quitted. staff have changed more or less. the ones remaining are only Andrew, Yan Xia and Eric. the Chocolate Delight is damn ugly! the ones i did are better, prettier. hais no standard le. HAHA

cotton wool clouds

---

Amara Hotel - 22nd Sept 2007
attended a so-called cousin's (very complicated to explain the family tree lehs.) solemnisation ceremony at the Amara Hotel. sweet. and i've got the urge to get married.

2007-09-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

我用一万个答案
解释我们的距离
到最后发现我全都猜错
你害怕的是什么
你想要的是什么
站在你背后
我连呼吸都痛
我要相信你是爱我的
我要相信你是勇敢的
我烦时间是最残酷的
我怎么等
我要相信你是爱我的
不要当我每次唱情歌
眼里总有太多泪
不停拉扯

ps: am i thinking too much? i hope so. will you appear in my dreams tonight?

the 7th day - 20th sept

2007-09-20T21:30:00.000+08:00

its his 7th day in tekong.
which means another week more before he book out for the first time.
YIPPEEE!
i think i am more happy and excited than him.
ONE MORE WEEK!
i don't know how i survive the past few days.
there wasn't any time of the day
when i did not wonder how he is doing
he is constantly on my mind.
but i just did not want to sms him to ask.
(probably later, i will drop him a msg)

i just hope we can meet next week.
YEAH! ONE MORE WEEK!
if we can't meet,
at least to know that he is in mainland Singapore
i am happy enough.

i am starting to imagine how he will look like botak!

quote for the day: how long a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.

advertisements - 20th sept

2007-09-20T00:57:00.000+08:00

just some random stuff about advertisement.

the sweetest advert - Goldheart by Alan Tern and Prisceila Chan

they make a great couple. the girl is pretty and the guy is hunky. lang cai nu mao

the funniest advert - Mocca by Muscle Man

it never fails to tickle me. super funny.

the lamest advert - Heaven and Earth Green Tea

4 words: SUPER DUPER UBERLY LAME!!

the raunchest advert - Carl's Junior by Paris Hilton

HOT!

Daniel Radcliffe - 18th Sept

2007-09-18T21:25:00.000+08:00

this post is just on him

he appeared on Ellen Degeneres Show (i love that show!)
and its funny!!

i love Daniel Radcliffe... after Jer.

Part 1

part 2

oh my god! his tongue!!! i wanna french kiss him, and i bet he is a bloody good kisser!

his new movie - December Boys

i will go watch that show if it is screening in Singapore.

mooncake no more!

2007-09-17T21:35:00.000+08:00

wah piang. i am super pissed off now.
my walnut crust mooncake has been eaten by some guest.
wah. i didn't even got a chance to taste it, due to toothache from braces.
the worse part is there are no more stock for the flavour le!!! and i bought it from malaysia one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN!
i am so pissed. its the only mooncake i wanna eat and now its being eaten by someone else.
and they did not even asked if the owner has eaten it already!!!
i was thinking of keeping them until i am able to eat solid food.
now i don't need to eat any already!
PISSED!
there are still other baked and bing pi one, but i don't eat those!
good now. no more mooncake for me this zhong qiu jie.
GRR!

cranky now. feel like crying. (not b'cos of mooncake)
i don't know why i am so emo now. i am not pms-ing.
hais.

absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and fans the bonfire.

Brit's Gimme More - 17th Sept

2007-09-17T16:01:00.000+08:00

recently at the MTV Video Music Awards 2007
Britney performed her new song "Gimme More"

you'll be the judge. did she make it or break it?
personally, i think its ok. but it is obvious that she is really really nervous.
there is still room for improvement. lots of.
change that hair wig
shape up a bit and cover up more
build up a positive image.

but i think her song is nice!

ps: 10 more days to go - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

rants - 14th sept

2007-09-14T21:27:00.000+08:00

13 more days.
but will we be meeting?
at least to know that you are here
and not stuck on some island
makes me feel a little better.
its only one day and i have been sighing non stop

me: i wonder how he is doing inside.
may: u ask me ma? how do i know.
me: i am not asking you, just asking myself aloud.

jie mei say jer is in Pegasus Company.
should be rather slack and he sms-ed jie mei early in the morning,
like 4plus am.
probably he couldn't sleep and started to think of jie mei.
MUHAHa.

awaiting - 27th sept. till then, will be praying for his safety and all.

feeling kinda left out by the people around me
i am not sure why.
its not bothering me much but its making me feel uneasy.
hais. its so hard to please everyone.
sometimes, i just wish life would go the way i want,
but it doesn't.
in my eyes, people are leading better lives than me.
but in the eyes of others, they think my life is better than theirs.
is the grass really greener on the other side?
or is it because we cannot be contented with what we have.

the art of living is tough. the art of living a happy life is even tougher.

ps: i am still not ready to let go.

the day finally arrive - 13th sept

2007-09-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

he has gone in to tekong.
wonder how he is doing?
2 weeks away from main land singapore
13 weeks of BMT - 3 months.
hais.
hope things will be fine,
take care.
awaiting for the next meet up...

jie mei say jer got into an accident last week
lucky its the car and not him thats injured. *phew*
but either way, its still bad.

one last thing...
MAY! ITS A PITY IF YOU ARE NOT A SCRIPT WRITER.
haha... but i hope its true, at least till the last part. haha.

ps: photos up soon.

GRR! - 12th sept

2007-09-12T18:40:00.000+08:00

FUCK OFF.
I AM REALLY DAMN PISSED OFF WITH IT.

what is fucking wrong with him?

gonna miss that last chance seeing him b4 he enters NS.
ASSHOLE!

i can bite! - 11th sept

2007-09-11T22:08:00.000+08:00

GRR!
i am so pissed off.
DAMN!
HE FLY MY KITE!

anyway, its september 11 today.
6 years ago, those terrorists crashed into the twin towers in States,
killing many.
many lost their wives, husbands, children, parents, siblings and friends.
my deepest condolences to those who have lost their love ones,
i salute those fire rescuers who perish when the building collapsed.
they died with honour.
they are heros.

ps: which direction is your moral compass pointing at?

its over lo! - 10th sept

2007-09-10T21:03:00.000+08:00

MAB is finally over!
i am happy.
no comments on the paper.

tomorrow... its tuesday!!
double happy.
hope that his hair is shave
and i think i will not be able to contAin my laughter.
MUHAHA...

don't expect too much.
it will never happen.

i feel relax now... can sleep in peace.

2007-09-08T23:14:00.000+08:00

i hate the week that has just past
i hate this weekend.
bloody foul mood.
super stress.
and i loose my temper over very minor stuff.
i am snapping like a twig.
fussing over things which are so minor
complaining about everything and anything.

i am under tremendous stress now.
nervous breakdown.
damn.
just let this weekend pass as soon as possible.
i cannot take it anymore. !!!
wo yao bao zha le!

i just hope the dinner on tuesday can be confirmed,
i am so so so looking forward to it.

ps: a moment of weakness, can cause a lifetime of regrets

!!! - 8th sept

2007-09-08T16:55:00.000+08:00

ARGHZ!
why lidat?!
what i am fearing for has happened!!
WAH PIANG!

i am gonna die soon
MAB IS KILLING ME!
STRESS!!!

book worm - 7th sept

2007-09-07T21:09:00.000+08:00

i've bought the book today at Kinokuniya.

an extract from the book:
"It's time to strut you skinny ass down the street like you're in an episode of Charlie's Angels with some really cool song playing in the background.It's time to prance around in a thong like you rule the world.It's time to get skinny."

you are what you eat.

anyway, found a book in Kinokuniya about Murphy's Law:
"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong"
inside i found a sentence which goes something like this:
"When one person dies, its a tragedy. When 5,000 people die, its a statistic."

eh. true. i don't know to laugh or cry.
will go down and get that book when i have the time to read.
its interesting.

got alot of books that i want to read and buy but i don't have time now.
okay. i know i don't look like i read, but yes, i do read.
i am a book worm. provided if i have the time.

i love reading. (this statement is true,... to some extend)

6th sept

2007-09-06T11:44:00.000+08:00

its hard to know what one is thinking.
very hard.
the army guy case is the hot topic in town now.
and seriously, why is he doing something like this when he is just one month away from ORD.
what the hell is he doing? hais. i think he must have gone bonkers.

super stressed out.
MAB is killing me, reducing me to a zombie.
just hope i can score well and every effort put in will be worthwhile.
I CAN DO IT!

ps: i need discipline. i need more determination. revamp in progress, and i will make u regret.

struggling - 5th sept

2007-09-05T20:46:00.000+08:00

i am struggling to stay afloat
stress and worries are drowning me.
exhausted and worn out
with no one to lend a helping hand.
i need to do this alone,
because only i can bring myself to shore.

i am just afraid that
another wave will come crashing down
before i recover from the previous one.

i know i can do it
test and date dues are nothing new.
i can pull through it.

its you that is making me so helpless
fustrated and tired.
can someone tell me what to do.
give up or not? how to give up? how to carry on?

i am gonna get this book soon
its the in book now.

gimme more! - 3rd sept

2007-09-03T09:35:00.000+08:00

britney's new song
Gimme More!

I see you
And I just wanna dance with you

Everytime they turn the lights down
Just wanna go that extra mile for you
Public display of affection
Feels like no one else in the room

We can get down like there's no one around
We'll keep on rockin', we'll keep on rockin'
Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin'
They keep watchin', keep watchin'

Feels like the crowd is saying:

Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more [*4]

The center of attention
Even when they're up against the wall
You got me in a crazy position
If you're on a mission
You got my permission

We can get down like there's no one around
We'll keep on rockin', we'll keep on rockin'
Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin'
They keep watchin', keep watchin'

Feels like the crowd is saying:

Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more [*4]

I just can't control myself
More, they want more
Well, I'll give them more

Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more [*4]

Gimme more,gimme more
Gimme more,gimme more babe
I just want more

Gimme gimme, gimme, gimme gimme [*4]

[Danja:]
Bet you didn't see this one coming
The incredible lygo
The legendary Miss Britney Sears
The unstoppable Danja
You gonna have to remove me
'Cause I ain't goin' no where (more)

its hot!
club banger
and it makes me wanna dance.
cannot wait to see the MV and her new album
it should be great
her music is nice but her personal life sucks big time.

2007-09-02T15:11:00.000+08:00

突然发现站了好久
不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我
再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可
委屈却没有人诉说

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

A.R.K - 2nd sept

2007-09-02T14:10:00.000+08:00

nothing in particular.
went to Ms Tan's (Mrs Chagng) house
she had her baby. Its a boy!
met Mr Tan there too.
secondary school memories, they are the best.

watched Evan Almighty.
wasn't very good neither was it that bad.
rather meaningful and quite funny.
2 and 1/2 star i would say.
A.R.K = one Act of Random Kindness
oh... the h.k cafe at Marina Square isn't that good. Kovan one is better.

random photos...

new blouse!

fat face

goofy!!

bright ideas.

i feel so damn lost,
with so many thoughts going through my head,
so many stuff unaccomplished,
and so many insecurities and changes around me.

i hate it.
i hate myself when i succumb to temptations,
when i cannot be in control over stuff.
it makes me feel so helpless.

people that i once knew is changing,
she isn't like this in the past.
or was i too naive to notice the real her.

society changes someone.
very true, but the question is: changes for the better or the worse?
i am not sure.

i am counting down to the days, he will be leaving for tekong
11 more days. less than 2 weeks.
its a new beginning for him,
and i will be mine too.
its time that i should really let go and forget.
(i've been saying that for a long time, but its hard)
no one will understand.
he's my bad habit
and habits are hard to break.

ps: i just hope that i am thinking too much.

changed - 1st sept

2007-09-01T13:42:00.000+08:00

she have changed
changed into someone i don't know

how did this happen?

it makes my heart cold.

29th aug

2007-08-29T00:02:00.000+08:00

august is coming to an end.
its amazing how time flies.
its super duper ultra fast
and that day is getting nearer.

been working on hmt,
and what the f**king hell is 'collision effect'?
i just don't understand
ARGHS!

it rained like mad today.
flooded everywhere.
its a wet day

and i am moody

ps: keep things simple. complexity doesn't help.

2007-08-27T21:26:00.000+08:00

every beat of my heart, is a rhythm of love

i dreamt. - 27th aug

2007-08-27T21:12:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of you again.
i don't know why.
its so hard to give up
to let go
to forget.

i need answer,
but at the same time
i already knew it.
i don't know what i am still holding on to

i really need to let go.

ps: sometimes i wonder, if miracles do happen.

fragile.

2007-08-25T13:21:00.000+08:00

veron told me something ystd
which made me jolt out from my seat.
its a real shocker.
and its rather sad.
may god bless him
hope he will win that fight and survive.
it's still to early to go.
there's still a long road ahead.
he's still young

2 road accidents happened near my house.
its freaky.
killing one and seriously injured another.
and it happened in 2 consecutive days!
is it a coincidence or... (hmm... you know what i mean)

life is so fragile.
you'll never know whats gonna happen next.
my brush with death 2 years ago made me understand that
live like you gonna die tomorrow.
don't end a day with regrets.

have you ever wonder,
if you will to die tomorrow,
what is the last thing you would want to do?
i don't know. all i know is that i will want to see the ones i love for the last time. capture all their faces in my mind and bring it with me to another world.

its depressing to talk about such stuff
but sometimes when something happen to someone you know
and that they may probably leave this place
makes you realise how fragile one can be.

ps: i dreamt about you ystd. it was beautiful, but it will only be a dream.

sick. - 25th aug

2007-08-25T00:42:00.000+08:00

its 0042hrs
and i am at home
just reached home from my movie
its the earliest time that i've reached home.

i am tired.
super tired.
running a slight fever.
having a sore throat.
i'm gonna fall sick!

rush hour 3 was nice
damn funny.
laugh till there was tears in my eyes.
he laughed like mad too.
but i was madder.
haha

gonna kiss my bed soon.

ps: a dumb block, a crazy bitch and lots of silence.

phew! - 24th aug

2007-08-24T02:39:00.000+08:00

finally i am done with my essay!
0240hrs.
i am not very please with it, but i am glad i finished it.
i just hope i can get a decent grade. distinction?

i am scared that i wrote out of point.

just don't want to think about it already
i need to sleep.
i've got eye bags and panda eyes.
super deprive of sleep.

i am left with slightly more than 4 hours of sleep.

fingers cross.

2007-08-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

so, i am going to the movies tmr night.
i kinda regretted asking, but then since i have already asked
i'll have to go.
i just hope tmr night would not be the worse night ever.
i hope i don't screw things up like the previous timeS. (yes, alot of time)
hope things goes well. at least better than the other time.
i am keeping my fingers cross.

essay! let me see...
i am left with conclusion, final editing and referencing to do. woot!
actually, i think its still a long way from FINISH!
i just hope i can finish everything tonight. (its a must anyway)
keeping my fingers cross.

dead and hate - 23rd aug

2007-08-23T13:30:00.000+08:00

i am so f**king dead now.
slept for 5hrs last night and i am not even done with my essay.
i procrastinated too much, even though i know i would end up like this.
but it cannot be help. i only work when i feel the urgency (like i only run to the loo when i am urgent. haha)

i hate myself now.
for being so weak. mentally. (i can't help it. its controlling me more than i am controlling it)
i gave in to my desire. the desire to see you.
i've kinda regretted asking you out.
i should have stand firm. be more determine.
now, healing would be even tougher.

on one hand, i hope you could make it,
on the other, i hope you can't.

我努力的仰着脸孔
试着眼泪不往下流
别往下流

不安的感觉到什么
在我生活中不再相同
很不相同

想要说
却还沉默
伸出手
无法触碰

天空突然一片辽阔
原来你是真的已经离开我
在我不熟悉的世界过新的生活

闭上眼让泪水滑落
此刻你已真的永远离开我
在另外一个没有我的世界
自由的走

i just love this song.

there's something on my mind all these while
and i am dying to ask.
at the end of this whole race, its the only one question that i want to know:
have you ever at one point, like me?
i guess i've already know the answer.
but i just want to be sure so that thers's no room for me to hope for anything,
so that i can really let go, accept, forget and heal.

ps: that friend status is the last connection between you and me. i don't wish to lose that status, no matter what.

will i be one of them? - 22nd aug

2007-08-22T21:28:00.000+08:00

you said you are "going to miss everything"
will i be one of them that you will be missing?

hell no.

ps: chronic fatigue

forgive, forget, accept - 21st aug

2007-08-21T21:30:00.000+08:00

for the past few days, i was in a foul mood.
things at home are slightly better.
we have started talking, but things aren't rosy yet.
its easy for me to forgive what you have said and pretend nothing has happen
but forgetting would be tough.
your words are echo-ing in my head now and then
and its really very hurtful.

other then things at home that is causing that foul mood of mine,
there are problems...
that damn ER essay is gonna drive me bonkers.
writing is easy (just dump the facts) but linking them up and having that 'flow' is so difficult.
argh!

i've accept the fact that probably we will never be together.
that's why i've given up
but to accept the fact that
one day someone will be beside you,
sitting on that front seat of your car,
holding your hands,
and that person isn't me
makes my heart sink.
i've still got a long way to go.
healing is difficult. accepting everything is hard.
sometimes i wonder, can time really heal all wounds?

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

only time will tell if it really can heal all wounds.
i guess accepting is the most difficult part in the healing process.
you've got to accept everything.
only then you will start healing.
(sometimes i wish he could just go and be a priest. haha. i think it would be easier for me to accept it)

ps: an untold secret, a hidden truth.